Posts
"Trust your heart. Rule number two. Your heart won't ever steer you wrong. You just need to listen. That's my overall answer. However, my more specific answer is that you know what you're really supposed to do. Sometimes, what our heart desires may not make sense and may mean great risk. It can't be denied. There is great risk. Nevertheless, our heart will never steer us wrong. So, sometimes, we need to dream big and take even bigger risks. You know what you're supposed to do from here. Seek it. It will happen and it will be the best thing you've ever done." Anna tried to reassure her granddaughter.
She knew what Granny Anna said was true. There was great merit to be found there. It didn’t help her, though, in the immediate. Aubrey's head felt crammed full of wisdom and advice. She wasn't sure what to do with the information at this point and needed time to sort through everything. She was given a lot to deal with by both Jerry and Anna. And that didn’t even include dealing with her emotional reaction to the situation once and for all. "Thanks, Gran. I know what you say is true. I just need to think and be for a while."
"Baby girl, what has your dream always been? Your real dream and not the one you decided on because it was safe?"
Aubrey was flabbergasted by the loaded question. Usually her grandmother didn’t approach a situation at such an angle. Aubrey was taken aback. "I'm not sure what you're referring to, Granny."
Anna was ever more pointed now. "Oh, don't play scatterbrained with me, Aubrey. You know precisely what I mean."
Aubrey was dumbfounded. She tried to think of what Granny Anna referred to and why, but to no avail. "I seriously have no idea."
"You've always wanted to write. So, why don't you?" Anna tried to put it as simply as she could.
Sure enough, Granny Anna was right. Aubrey recognized how far she had moved from her dream. Why? Why did she try to play it safe? What kind of impact has this had on her life? "You're absolutely correct." Her voice sounded surprised and rather shocked by the realization. It hadn't come to her mind in so long now that she couldn’t recall when it first began.
"The question is: What are you going to do about it? Are you going to run from it because of the high risk and your fear? Or, are you going to run to it and see where your journey might take you?" Anna tried to build her granddaughter up and give her a sense of encouragement.
Aubrey thought about what her grandmother asked. They were tough questions and forced her to contemplate what Anna said. She wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’ll think about it.”
“What are you going to do from here? What are you going to think about?” Anna’s voice sounded amused.
Why did her Granny sound like that? “I have no idea.” Aubrey was confused and was not sure what her grandmother wanted from her.
“I remember when I knew this little girl who would sit still, without moving from her seat, for hours upon hours because she had a story to write. Whatever happened to her? Where is that girl?” Anna asked Aubrey.
She had forgotten about those days. Wow. How did she? It was her dream for years. Aubrey wanted to write novels and wrote several novellas as a child. When she was a teenager, she tried to write several novels, but never finished any of them. She would get to the point she was almost finished, but then she wouldn’t because she would get another idea. She was a fount of ideas and couldn’t keep up with them.
Aubrey stopped trying to write the GAN (Great American Novel) after her Freshman English college professor told her she needed to stop. Professor Eggert informed her how she might find it better to be an editor rather than a writer because she was not very good at it. He really hurt her in the process.
No. That was not entirely true. It didn’t simply hurt her. She was destroyed. Consequently. Aubrey put down the pen and stopped her pursuit of the GAN. If she stunk, she didn’t want to embarrass herself or waste anyone’s time. She shifted her focus because of it.
Yes. She was shattered.
No comments:
Post a Comment